This Should be Easy to Discuss

     The path of excess leads to the tower of wisdom, but leads to a lot of hard learned lessons including heartache and pain.

     We live in a new age when things have changed drastically. Events like shootings are happening around the world, war, refugees crises, and never seen before environmental issues, to name a few. At home privacy is a luxury, the writing is being dissected by the minute, friends turn into enemies, and some enemies are friends, bullies cannot wait to use something to their advantage, but still some good people encourage love and happiness while disguised as invisible angels. And in the news every night it seems like every character in the book wants to be president. So then Porn, well yes my imaginary friends, porn should be easy to discuss.

     I am writing from my own perspective which is that of a young adult single woman, living in the United States, who is open to dating men. My first reaction to being single, was, well, hey I am in the market again. Conveniently I know a young man who lives close to Market Street, but that is just too far from where I live. When I signed up for online dating my daughter thought that you could “buy” a boyfriend online. Maybe some people do. But I said “No sweetie, you do not buy a boyfriend on the internet, in reality you buy the chance of “maybe” going on a date and “maybe” meeting your next love. Needless to say, children, see the world so clearly, this interaction quickly discouraged my intentions.

     I realize popular culture, beauty magazines, and the sex industry objectifies woman, turning the female body into a product. This is why some people have little respect for women. I think it is okay for a woman to be how she wants to be. I think if one day I want to dress up and it seems sexy that does not give anybody the right to call me names or belittle me. As women we want to feel safe being ourselves, being open, and comfortable in our own bodies. We all are beautiful in our own way. Each one of us unique.

     It is a colorful age with shades of gray, black, white, orange, green, yellow, and rainbows. I was raised in a politically liberal family with hints of catholicism. I could discuss many things with my parents, which does not exactly mean I have not been judged. I hope to raise my child in a way that we are open to talking about many things as well. And this is what I would like to talk about right now, I do not agree it is okay to buy or use a human for sexual purposes. People breed animals for profit. But exploiting humans for sex in any shape or form, when the future is now, seems unacceptable. This Thanksgiving night I watched shades of Gray, it seems this young girl was never really able to have a decent conversation with this guy. This is a sensation in popular culture.

     Personally, numerous people have tried to guilt trip me for expressing my sexuality. I want you to know that it is okay to express your sexuality. I hope you are alive because your parents at one point in their lives loved each other enough to create another human being, and that is how you got to this world. So it would be counterproductive for you to deny that you were made to love. There is no shame in it. There is no need for you to deny your body chemistry either. The problem I found was when people lied and used each other. And by the way If you feel attraction for someone, use a condom. You can walk into most clinics and they usually will have free samples you can take. Get tested for everything and be honest with your partners about anything. In this country we are so lucky to have access to reproductive care. HIV testing is so advanced you can get test results in minutes. Do not leave your drinks unattended and preferably go out drinking with real friends, the ones who will not abandon you at a party when you are drunk with strangers.

     The Rolling Stone magazine wrote a great article about the sex industry showing statistics about porn stars and sex workers. Most people in this field have been sexually abused at some point in their lives. It is unrealistic to make a porn actor a sex role model. Human sex trafficking is real and millions of children and women around the world suffer unwillingly in the hands of predators. Most consumers of porn are men, but many times there are women promoting this. So I ask you this, what amount of money would make it worth it for you to be used and filmed and be put on display for the world to see. Money is spent and goes from hand to hand until it reaches a dark room inside a reserve somewhere we will never dream of getting close to. But your life, well, I’m looking at the big picture now, and science says it took billions and billions of light years and stardust to compose into what is now your body. Your celestial body.

You are made of stars, never forget that.


Now some Fresh Air:

Teenagers and the new dating scene